Have you encountered people in your life who are compulsive liars? Telling lies in almost everything they talk and incidents they narrate. For many a people lying is a normal daily activity and they cannot live even for a single day without telling any lies. They tell lies, without feeling an iota of guilt or remorse, to their friends, family and practically anyone who comes in their contact. After a long time at practicing lying, not only have they mastered the art but have established themselves as inveterate and incorrigible liars too. It has become their innate habit to lie or misrepresent and instinctively tamper with every bit of information no matter how trivial it is. Should we say that their DNA has undergone a transformation, otherwise why would anyone indulge in such a worthless activity that leads to no direct benefit? This makes them compulsive liars to the chagrin and detriment of so many who find themselves at the receiving end. Liars are so much deeply entwined in their habit that extricating themselves from the quagmire of deceit seems an impossible task. Making lies out of everything, even out of inconsequential and insignificant things which could be expressed threadbare without any negative repercussions after a fair and frank disclosure. Could this be the real reason why it is said that one should not ask a man’s salary and a woman’s age? You are certain to receive wrong answers to both the questions. In the modern times, neither question causes embarrassment anymore. A man will overstate his salary and a woman will understate her age. Is it not true?
Ask them something so innocuous like what time did they reach a particular place. They will give you a wrong time of their arrival so as to project a picture of a disciplined and a punctual person as well as an accomplished driver that he or she is by taking lesser time than what most would take for the journey. And when you ask them what time did they reach back. Again, they tell you a time different from the actual time so that they might not be called to office at the usual morning time on the day of arrival. Take another example of the cost of a watch or a pen they bought recently. These people have an uncanny compulsion to overstate the price not just by a few percentage points but by leaps and bounds. What is the deadly urgency and compulsion in overstating the cost? The other day I asked a friend about the ‘per night’ price of a hotel in which he had stayed during his recent visit. I felt the price he quoted was exorbitant and upon checking it online, I found the price was down to a third. Why did he not state the correct price? What I wish to emphasize is that there are vested interests at work while narrating the facts, figures, incidents and events that make the statements susceptible to doubt and foul play. People manipulate their stories as per their convenience while playing with the rationalities and sensibilities of the gullible and unsuspecting listeners like you and me. Could this be a cause of great discomfiture to us as well as the one that arouses contemptuous behaviour?
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How can you pin point if something is fallacious or erroneous? There will definitely be some inconsistencies in the narratives of the liars that contradict their very own facts or figures. You just have to be smart enough to pick them up and confront the speaker. Actually, there will be enough clues within the conversation that set out an alarm bell, some loose ends that don’t seem to fit cosily with the rest of the story. Long back, a friend of mine used to narrate stories related to his dalliance and their escapades. In the beginning we were quite unsuspicious and believed all his fairy tales. Then just one day I realised that his stories were happening all too frequently and sounded too good. To get to the bottom of the mystery, I decided to confront him. Believe me he could not tell me the basic information about the girl and this led to the exposure of truth. You ask the person where did he buy the watch or the pen and a few basic questions, the truth will be out in a moment. Do you consider this to be some kind of torture that you find yourself being subjected to?
Let us explore why they do so and make us the subject of their nefarious manipulations. I believe that this behaviour of theirs is borne out of an inferiority complex that they have harboured for a long time for nothing else explains it well. In order to overcome this inferiority-complex they try to project a bigger picture of themselves that shows them in an advantageous and a favourable position thus casting clouds of their superiority over their listeners. The friend of mine I talked in the above paragraph, suffered from an inferiority complex of not having a girlfriend like his other friends. In order to overcome the complex, he used to narrate the stories about his non-existant girlfriends thus establishing that he had some. The other reason could be that these people want to brag as well as arouse feelings of envy among others. In this process they sensationalise their talk and win other’s admiration, sympathy and attention. Still others tell lies to make it convenient to manage tasks and other people’s expectations & views. The rest do it for fun and deriving some sadistic and voyeuristic pleasure out of telling lies.
What is most shocking is that these people cannot tolerate any lies themselves. They react differently when they are the recipients of the kind of treatment they mete out to others. They consider it perfectly fine to tell and perpetrate lies but view it completely horrendous when someone else gives them a taste of their own pills. Aren’t they intolerant? How hard is that?
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When would they stop their practice of lying? My understanding is that they would never mend their ways unless they encounter a hard surface. There could be some turning points that may force them to consider a course correction. Either when they rub shoulders with a tough person who puts them to task for being inconsiderate, compassionless and playing with people’s emotions and sensibilities or when their lies endanger the precious human life.
Do you think this world will be a better place if we do not trade in lies and fallacious statements? Neither telling any lies nor receiving any of it from others. Any comments!
Its so true sir!
A realistic write up on the callous ways of people prone to lying!