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Don’t say the words you are going to regret

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Man can take credit for inventing a huge variety of things that never existed previously ranging from objects as small as all-purpose pins to mammoth ships, from pens to planes to skyscrapers. It will surely fill us with awe if I were to name all the amazing things that man has produced. Even more awesome is the fact that the spree of innovative inventions has not ceased yet, on the contrary it has only hastened in the recent times, all thanks to the technological revolution that we witness today. Having said that, let us not forget the deadly weapons of warfare that have the ability to spell doom for the whole planet are also among those invented by mankind. It is no point blaming the weapons, we are ourselves to be blamed for our lack of sanity, sensitivity and mindfulness if such weapons were ever used resulting in humongous loss to life, property and environment. These weapons are potent enough to wipe out, not just entire mankind, but even the last traces of life from the planet if at all they find their way into the hands of a few unscrupulous and irresponsible people. If I ask you to name just one other thing from our day to day life that is equally destructive and invasive, that cuts through the heart, what would that be? Any amount of straining your grey matter might not prove helpful. It is certain that the answer would thoroughly elude and evade your keen attention and assessment and you would be off the mark by miles, not just yards.

Two people talking to each other.

Image Credit: Freepik

Allow me to make your task a little simpler. Among the most potent yet ordinary of things, is the human tongue and the use it can be put to. It is the one thing that is available at the disposal of mankind in unlimited and unrestrained manner that is often misused and misinterpreted. Haven’t we observed people using their tongues to spew venomous words that upset others and destroy relationships? Is it not a cause of long-lasting bitterness and resentment in the hearts the minds of people it is used against? If used differently, it could open doors of bonhomie, friendship, and love but more often it is used to spread lies, hatred and venting out anger. Words work as swords that cut through hearts like a hot knife cutting though butter. Haven’t you known people in your immediate circles who were good friends previously but owing to one person’s unrestrained and immoderate use of his or her tongue a huge wedge had been driven in their relationship that to this day they are not on speaking terms with each other. And so are their families, they too are paying the price of follies committed by one of their members. If you are discernible enough, you would have noticed that in most cases, the resentment and hatred is because of uncouth behaviour and intemperate utterings rather than the initial reason that set off the fight between them in the first place. The root cause had been forgotten and relegated to the backburner but what could not be forgotten and forgiven are the words that pierced their hearts. The words continue to ring in the ears arousing feelings of hatred, abhorrence and distrust. 

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It is often said that words once uttered, cannot be taken back just like an arrow that leaves the bow. If you later realise what you said was inappropriate or wrong or sharp and biting, there is no taking back those words. The only recourse available to you is to tender apologies and lengthy explanations to the opposite party with regard to the context in which these words were said or what you actually meant. I am sure you must have experienced a similar dilemma yourself, either at home or workplace. None of us is too saintly, not having made this mortal error of being too liberal with our tongue, casting aspersions on people around us and insulting them in vengeance or reprisals. It is a reality that most of us do not think of the repercussions that our words will have upon our listeners. In the age of internet and social media the reverberation of the viciousness of bad behaviour and words can be felt far and wide with catastrophic results. It can go out of proportion and even become the cause of violence and lost lives. We refuse to abide by the law of proportionality by giving it back to the other person after multiplying with some exponential figures. We also feel pride and see it as an opportunity to get even with the other party by giving it back together with huge interest.

couple fight

Image Credit: Freepik

But why do we use our tongue so loosely and profusely in the heat of the moment? What makes us indulge in such irresponsible behaviour? Why are we so liberal and overwhelming with bad words and language that we do not come to know when we have crossed the limits of decency and acceptable behaviour? I guess it has to do with our emotions. All emotions are powerful especially the negative ones. Emotions are akin to storms that lay siege on our minds and seize total control of all sanity and thoughtfulness that is within us. No amount of training at inculcating civilised behaviour helps at this very moment when we are under siege. Emotional outbursts occur when someone presses wrong or aching chords within us and even slightly oversteps an invisible boundary. Such emotional outbursts are bound to evoke animal like instincts and the first casualty is our decency.

[ Also Read: Born to win but live to lose ]

After the storm has blown over and emotions leave the siege, there is almost certainly a realisation about the fallibility of our own actions. Don’t we regret having said the words we did, though after the damage has been perpetrated? Any amount of remorse and repentance expressed later might not mend the broken ties, friendships, bonds of love and relationships. It could result in unnecessary building up of worry and anxiety that is sure to disturb your peace of mind. That is why it is advised to stay calm in spite of provocations and think with your head rather than your heart is such situations. We should not let emotions take the better of us and flow with the herd rather maintain a much-desired equanimity and stay composed. Remember, it does not take too long or too many reasons to replace love with hatred, just a few moments and some bad words are enough to unsettle the delicate balance that you have, for so long, taken pride in maintaining up till now.

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2 Comments

  1. Geeta Wason July 9, 2019

    This article leaves me speechless not for the words you pick and put as points which stare at me in my face yet again.in a spade of emotions we react and then repent later.

    The root of this realisatin is something seemingly innocuous and depressingly true but there goes the realization and the science principle applies.every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

    Reply
  2. Kavita Satdev July 9, 2019

    It’s rightly said ‘think before you speak’ as cruel words spoken in anger might hurt your loved ones without the intention and can sabotage your relationship. Therefore taste your own words before you spit them out.

    Reply

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